We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
