wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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