you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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