we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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