rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
