pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
