i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
