So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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