I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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