put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
