Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
