You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I puked a lego.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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