I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize