i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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