I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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