Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
