Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
