he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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