we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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