It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
