I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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