I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
