I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just puked most of my soul out..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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