No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
