He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize