I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
