Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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