You're so nebulous sometimes
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
