Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
