come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
