He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
