that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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