I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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