At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
