...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize