what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
