Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
