you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
