I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
