It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
