then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
