At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize