I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
