someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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