I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
