Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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