just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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