how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
