yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
