please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
