he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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