i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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