It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
