I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm like, not good at living.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
