my phone needs a breathalizer
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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