Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
