Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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